The Unexpected News
When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t believe it. I actually made the doctor run the test again because I was sure there had to be a mistake. Turns out, I was almost six months along. I only ended up at the hospital in the first place because I fainted on my way to work one morning. I was scared, angry, and totally lost. You know those movie moments where a woman finds out she’s pregnant, and it’s all joy and excitement? That wasn’t me. I knew parenthood was hard—I’d watched my own mom struggle to raise us. All I could do was pray the universe would guide me through whatever came next.
Recognizing Greatness
When my son was born, I didn’t know just how special he was. But from the very beginning, something about him just screamed greatness, and I wasn’t the only one who saw it. People were always telling me he was different—in a good way. Even now, you’d probably never guess he’s neurodiverse unless I told you. And honestly, I don’t bring it up unless it’s necessary because I don’t want people labeling or treating him differently.
It’s been a journey of trial and error to figure out how to meet his needs. There’s no manual for this, and sometimes I feel like I’m just winging it. But I never want him to feel like he can’t have what he needs, so I make whatever small adjustments I can to our daily life. I feel honored that he trusts me to understand him and give him what he needs. Our home is his safe space, and as long as we work together, we can make sure we’re both happy.
Of course, I’ve had my moments. I’ve yelled, felt frustrated, and sometimes just felt like I was failing when he wasn’t meeting my expectations. But I’ve come to learn that it was more about me than him. I’ve had to learn to listen better, to give us both some grace, and to leave space for him to just be. Turns out, my son is sensitive to textures and colors with food, and he has preferences that might seem quirky to others but are absolutely essential for his comfort.
Lessons Along the Way
1. Space and grace.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to grow, to stumble, and to not have it all figured out. Parenting is messy, and offering myself grace makes me a better mom.
2. Learning from my son.
I used to think being a parent meant having all the answers, but my son has taught me that it’s okay to learn from him, to be open, and to adapt to his needs. Humility has become one of my biggest strengths as a mom.
3. Embracing trial and error.
There is no “perfect” way to parent, and sometimes you have to try and fail before finding what works. I used to feel like I had to get it right all the time, but now I see the beauty in making mistakes and learning together.
4. ❤️What really matters.
I used to worry about giving my son everything—until I realized all he really wanted was me. Love, time, and attention far outweigh any material thing I could provide. Our bond is what will last.
5. The power of listening.
Listening isn’t just about words; it’s about hearing what’s beneath them. It’s recognizing my son’s needs, even the unspoken ones, and being there without judgment.
Balancing Motherhood and Me
Parenting a neurodiverse child, especially when you’re neurodiverse yourself, can feel isolating. Sometimes it feels like I’m parenting on an island, especially when dealing with my own depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I have to be mindful of how I refill my cup, making sure I don't lose myself in motherhood. That means finding time to journal, draw, take my walks, and just reconnect with nature. Those little things remind me of who I am beyond "Mom."
I’ve learned to reconnect with other parents, friends, and family, too, to make sure I stay grounded. My son and I have this mutual understanding—he knows I’m his parent first, but we’re also friends. We laugh, we share, but we also respect each other's space. And honestly, that balance makes all the difference.
Raising my son has taught me more than I ever thought possible. Parenting isn’t easy, and it’s far from perfect. But the love we share, the laughter, and the lessons we learn together make every tough moment worth it.